problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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