The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
