also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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