The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
