his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Randomize