i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
