that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
