walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
