My first STD was from a foam party
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
