they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
