so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
