Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
