i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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