yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
