tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
And then he peed in my hair
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