Me. At least after what I've been through.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
