Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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