Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
