Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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