does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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