This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
