i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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