Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
