i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
