At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This is my gift to your gina
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
