google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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