only if we run a train.
done.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
