You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
