I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
