He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
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you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
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I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree