is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
