So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
why is half of my head shaved?
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