If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
