Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I can't turn off my feet"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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