a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just want nice things and good sex
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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