38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
