Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
smell my finger.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
