Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
