that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
