I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
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THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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