Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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