You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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