spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
