It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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