Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
