I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
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and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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