Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
