is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?