The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.