he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess