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• (352): View more from Florida

  I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.

  (904): View more from Florida

  You stay classy.

  (352): View more from Florida

  The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"

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• (727): View more from Florida

  at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.

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