Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I wish I could punch you in the face.

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(510): View more from California

I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.

(702): View more from Nevada

Are you high?

(510): View more from California

No. That's why it's odd

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(908): View more from New Jersey

The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy

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(760): View more from California

I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts

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(953): View more from

Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.

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