we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep