That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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