I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
