I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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