i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
