Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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