i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
