you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
