i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
