there's paper in my vomit.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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