I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Who died my cat blue again?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
