is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
