it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I pour the whiskey from now on
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
