You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
