if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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