So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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