Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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