I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
