Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
